May 2013
4 posts
7 tags
4 tags
3 tags
March 2013
3 posts
February 2013
13 posts
January 2013
87 posts
bulletbutt:
So this little kid at church noticed I’m fat and asked me today “Why do you have a big belly?”
I couldn’t really think of an acceptable answer for that so I simply responded:
“Because I’m full of bees”
I don’t think I’ve seen a more confused and terrified child in my life as I walked away, hearing him whisper “Bees…” to himself.
bryko:
*emoji pitch conference*
“What if…poop with eyes”
2 tags
basedgosh:
i will never understand why people use a potato as a metaphor for ugliness do you know how attractive potatoes can be
i hate potatos
2 tags
When you go to a friend's house to stay the night...
battlegoats:
You know the one.
It’s made of wool.
It has satiny trim that tries to deceive you into thinking this will be a nice blanket experience.
But it’s not.
Every house has one.
It’s buried deep in the bowels of the linen closet, under some afghans and a comforter with the down coming out of it, but make no mistake.
The scratchy blanket is there.
And it waits.
yes i do know...
